My posts have been lazy these last few days. I can't help it. I've been super busy doing the living that gives me things to write about. Yet I really should tell you about Saturday night, because Saturday night was a blast. We were expecting a few inches of snow here, and K was willing to sit for the boys, so B and I decided on a date night at home (sort of.) We got everyone settled in here with K and my Mom for the night, and then we headed over to his Grandma's to help his Mom get her off to bed. By nine o'clock everyone was tucked in and nearly asleep for the night, leaving us free to enjoy an evening alone at B's Mom's house, (She lives next door to Grandma and so we just swapped houses for the night. We had a fire in the fireplace, PB and J sandwiches, and a couple of old home movies a piece to watch together.
So we watched. It was so good to cuddle against him on the couch and check out how we spent some of our years apart back in the early nineties. It was strange to see how different our lives were then. He spent '93 and '94 getting settled into the routines of college and fraternity life, while I spent them being pregnant and settling into the routines being a new mom. It's funny, but the only thing we really had in common then were our budding problems with alcohol. I got a chance to see once more his sweet face in it's younger version, before his chin took on the solid look of a man's that it has now, before his shoulders broadened and when his voice still had the slightest squeak of youth. He got to see some of daughter's earliest years and some evidence that my son R has had his awesome temper since birth, but he also got to see me mothering them then, when everything was still new to me. We both got to see my Dad in action once more, and I realized just how quickly the sound of his voice had receded into my memory. It reminded me how precious those videos really are and how very much I still miss him. It was good to visit again with our younger selves for a while. We laughed and snuggled and enjoyed the fire and each other. It made me realize again just how lucky I am to have this second chance with him, how lucky we are to have this second chance together. It makes me grateful for all those little things we are able to share now.
Some of my favorites:
1. When he rolls over next to me in bed, and takes a second to brush my hair back form my face and say "I love you" before he fades off to sleep again.
2. When we sit in bed together after a night at work clacking away at our laptops and just enjoying each other's silent company.
3. When he wraps his arms around me in the kitchen (or the living room, or the...) and stops whatever he's doing to make sure that I know how much he loves me.
and so much more.
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