So it has been ages since I've posted anything substantial, and I've mentioned briefly that a lot has been going on here, and it has. Finally this morning a few minutes to myself to fill you in a little bit and vent about how ridiculous some of it has been. I want to tread carefully here though, because I am angry and don't want to say things I might later wish to take back. That said--I've never been good at holding my tongue.
B's Mom started chemo about three weeks ago and since the three of us together are the primary care-takers for his ninety six year old Grandma, (she has Alzheimer's.) that means that responsibilities and scheduling conflicts have been running high for a while now. Add to that the fact that his mother ( in my opinion) never really liked me and that she definitely hates sharing his attention with anyone else and things have been quite the nasty little mess here. We finally set down some guidelines making it so that he and I would stay the overnights with Grandma on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays (because this meshes well with my custody agreement.) and that we would come over every morning and night to help with getting out of and back into bed again. In exchange, we wanted a guarantee that on the other three nights of the week we wouldn't be asked to stay at all so that we can spend the time at home with the kids. His Mom doesn't like this idea-- and thinks we should rotate nights through the week like he did when he was single and that he should still be available for any nights that she doesn't feel like staying or hiring someone else to stay. On top of that, she has been really nasty. Mean. Rude to him in ways that just tie my stomach in knots. During the week of her chemo we spent every night here with Grandma and did all of the morning and evening routines AND ran over here more than once to do things she said she was too sick to do herself. We have tried to explain that he needs someone to help divide the responsibilities for while she is sick, maybe have friends help her out around the house when she doesn't feel well, but she insists that he should want to do it for her and that it has to be him. I 'm angry because he just can't be everything for everyone all the time and has finally made some choices about what HE wants to do with his life. ( we got married--yay!!!!!) For selfish reasons I want him at home sometimes. For unselfish reasons I want him to have time to relax and enjoy the kids and get used to being a part of a family. So I'm angry. Well, angry doesn't really cover it-- I'm pissed off, but I'm also in love with him and not wanting to make things harder by driving up the conflict with his mom. So except for right here-- I'm trying to keep my mouth shut. wish me luck.
In the middle of all of that disaster, my little one Z had a febrile seizure last week while he was at his Dad's house. It's the third one he's had, so we did know what it was, which made it a little less scary, but only a little, and his Dad had never seen one before so he panicked and we got to enjoy and ambulance trip to the ER as a result. All is well with Z now though, stomach bug gone, fever no more, business as usual.
Did I mention the best part? WE GOT MARRIED ON MONDAY!!!We took a break from the merry go round Monday and went to the district justice just the two of us and finally, after all these years, got married. I couldn't be any happier about it. Every time I hold his hand now I think of those few quick moments in front of the judge when we held each other's hands and promised each other that we would love each other for always. A great day in the middle of a bunch of borderline and not so great days.
Lastly, we got the stomach flu. It started with Grandma, got B and I, little Z and then back to B again for a second round. It has been hell and I will be glad when it is finally over. I am warily watching K and R to see who will get it next....stay tuned....
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