For Services Rendered: (To My Children)

For the nine months or so that I carried you inside of me, many times uncomfortable-nauseous morning, noon and night, eating what was good for you and finally suffering through labor and delivery to give birth to you--Approximately nine months (around 270 days) @$4.00 per day. A bargain by anyone's standards.

$1080.00

The cost of having you--pre and post natal-nursery -delivery room etc. Expenses above and beyond that of most budgets.

$25,000.00

The infant care your father and I provided you with those first couple of years; changed diapers, formula, bathing, feeding, burping, rocking, through sickness and teething and shots, skinned knees and childhood illnesses, braces, bumped heads, cut fingers, etc...

$5000.00

For the worry and sleep lost over your little problems, with playmates, starting school, nights sleeping over with friends, strange stuff you ate or drank ( a couple of calls to poison control), all the dumb things you did while learning to grow up.

$3000.00

For teaching you not to play with knives, matches, guns, strangers or in the middle of the street, near water or wells, constructions site, abandoned houses or cars....

$1000.00

For the time and effort spent in sincere prayer that you would associate with the right kind of people, develop decent morals, be honest, trustworthy, truthful, dependable, tolerant, charitable, patient, ambitious, etc...(and all the good things we want for you to be)

$2000.00

For the Aggravation of teaching you to drive a car, hoping we weren't giving you the way to kill or maim or cripple yourself or anyone else-hoping you have the common sense to use moderation in your coming adulthood so that your life and ours, and others would not be ruined by thoughtless deeds.

$2000.00

Twelve years of education and all that goes with it--taxes, books, shots, transportation, time, clothing, spending money, trips, fads, records, entertainment, vacations, meetings, homework, projects, etc...

$20,000.00

Eighteen years of medical attention given with all the love and care possible, sleepless nights, band aids, allergies, cavities, ear infections, antibiotics, broken bones, etc...

$18,000.00

Eighteen years of feeding you 20,700 meals and snacks, add to this preparation time and clean-up afterward and $2.00 per meal is cheap.

$41,400.00

For the goodwill created by us for you to be enjoyed or destroyed as you see fit.

$5000.00



Total: $123,480.00


This is a low estimate. Supplies not necessarily included, not counting holidays or extreme disasters. However, this invoice was not created for the purpose of receiving payment, but to put into terms you can understand that a lot of time and money, love and care was invested in raising you. Please don't waste it, but enjoy it, put it to good use for both yourself and others. That will render this account "PAID IN FULL."

Love,
Mom